Dream ...

So over the past 15 years or so of my life, I have had a recurring dream. Although the dream itself varies, there are two main pivotal characters that always seem to be involved. Myself, and a lady named Shirikai. I dont know where that name comes from or what it means, but it is a name that has been in my head since those many years ago.
From what I can remember about the Lady Shirikai, she is a warrior from a village on another planet. Yea, that sounds stupid I know, but i'm writing to clear my head, not for anyones amusment, so deal. Anyways, she is an amazing fighter with an absolutel indomidable will. Since I am roughly 5'10" (yes, im there) and she stands a few inches shorter than myself, I would wager she is about 5'8" or 5'9". She is in phenomenol physical shape and works very hard to stay at the peak of her physical ability. She has very tanned skin, almost Native-American or Indian in complexion. Strangely, she has honey blonde hair which is only notable considering that the rest of her people have crow black hair. Their clothing seems very ritualistic but when she is not in their garb, she can generally be found with a pair of boots and her hair tied back, getting into some type of trouble. Though a beautiful woman, this is often overshadowed by the dirt, bruises, and cuts on her face from said trouble. She has been in jail more often than any other of their warriors by a factor of at least 5. They toss her in, and some struggle forces them to release her due to the fact that she is the best fighter they have.
She is intelligent, though not classically educated due to her training as a warrior. She reads people very well and is highly perceptive. She had a very highly attuned ability to read people's body language. Almost to the point of being pre-cognitive but only glimpses, and not the entire story. Outwardly, very cold and calculating, she has a warm side that only her family knows. She has a younger sister Shaol who ends up being the recipient of the "warmth" in both good and bad fashion. The last person that mentioned she was soft, didnt walk for a month. During our first meeting, she proved to me the superiority of her training, disbling me and snapping my arm. Love at first sight. To my everlasting good fortune however, she turned out to love me also. It took some happening and some loss, but we ended up realizing our connection. Neither one of us knew what it was, but we fell in love, and after several months, were married. Again thankfully, she is the type of gal that once she fell in love, wouldnt ever let go (for better or worse, lol).
As a side note, in all my life, in all my dreams, she is the only person/woman that I have ever dreamed being married to. I find that extremely amusing.
Anyways, in our journeys together (a MUCH longer story than I can share here) we never strayed from one another. We spent a great deal of time fighting due to our mutual stubborness and her never backing down from a fight. Thankfully, neither of us ever took this to heart and it always ended up strengthening our bond. She taught me much more about combat, and I taught her much about the math and sciences. Her greatest affinity however, was for art and music which was good because it is something that I had neglected in my studies and travels. We were able to again, grow closer while learning together. At the height of our happiness amongst difficult situation and an insurmountable task, she was my light, my life, and my only love. More than once, she expressed the same.
During some time on our travels, I was betrayed by one who would call me friend. Presumed dead, and exiled to the farthest reaches of space. In 15 years apart, while I was alone, she was my reason and purpose. When I was finally able to come back home, I returned to find her betrothed to the very person who had betrayed me. Claiming the right to vengence, I went after her. Having lived her life in one form of conflict or another, she had assumed this course of action and had prepared herself for what was to come. We fought. As never before. I had spent those 15 years training for vengence and with her as my Angel of Mercy who was waiting for me. This taken from me, the rage filling me was undeniable. Her skill had only increased but what was supposed to have killed me, had changed me to something that was not matched on the field of battle. Her fighting however, was off ... almost empty. When I inevitably gained the upper hand, I wasnt able to do it. Even though we had hit and kicked and harmed one another, having her at my mercy, I couldnt bring myself to actually hurt her. I let her up, turned my back to her and waited for her to deliever the final blow. Instead, she touched my back, in what might be one of the only tender movements she had ever made, and said, "You are my life, my love, my everything. I have never before, nor shall I again, love another." With a single touch and a few words, she had erased 15 years of pain, torment, and hatred. We went before our leaders, and in front of them all, I challenged my betrayer. He was seen as undefeatable and even my love, thought him too much. Even lacking my hatred him, the outcome was never in doubt. The battle was over 15 years ago. It just concluded on that day. Later, we renewed or vows, and in my mind, that day was when our first child was conceived. We resumed the task which had been delayed, and although "Happily ever after" is never the choice of words, we lived our life the best that we knew how ... together.
That is part of my dream. Part of my story. I can close my eyes right now, and see her in my mind, as vivid as the monitor in front of me. There are times, that it scares me how much control that this dream has over my choices in life. I can try and ignore it, but that is just denying what I feel. I may one day eventually move beyond it. Who knows. But on today, a pretty bad day, just the idea that someone out there might be her, the promise of something better, might very well have saved my life. Regardless of where this dream came from or if it means nothing at all to someone, it means something to me, just as she does. Real, imaginary, or a figment of a dream, at this moment, she affected my life in a real way. For that alone, I am thankful..

Random ...

This is me, trying something new. If anyone is reading, "Hello." If you aren't, "Hello."
Sometimes, you just need to try something new. This is one of those times. I have a lot on my mind. So much gossamer that I cant differentiate thoughts. As someone I know would say, it's a "Random Day".

I wish I could go home, but i'm stuck here.

I have this saying that is running though my head.

"No body likes me, everybody hates me.
Think I'll eat some worms. Long slim slimy ones,
short fat juicy ones. Itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms."

No, im not lonely. Its just a memory of the only other person I have met, who knows that song. My friend from another lifetime ago. I miss talking to her.

I'm a comic geek, so I was looking up pictures of Super Heroes/Heroines and Super Villain/Villainesses (SP?). Got to the White Queen (what can I say, im single and she's hot. I really could care less if she is real). Found these pictures of a comic convention and this real life Gal that looked a lot like the character. She did an awesome job on her costume. Plus, she was very pretty and had nice eyes. I was very intrigued on several levels and curious in others.

I play a lot of video games. Final Fantasy XI is my current craze. Been playing for a while and I enjoy it most times. Met some gal the other day who I really enjoyed talking to which was unusual. In general, im not very personable, but for some reason, almost from the moment I met her, I liked talking to her and she apparently liked talking to me. I got a new /friendlist addition! I was pleasantly surprised. Is there anything better than being surprised?

One of the more frustrating aspects of life, is that you cannot solve a persons problems for them. You can be there to celebrate when they succeed, give them advice when they ask, and care for them and hold their hand when they fall. In the end however, they will solve their problems or fail to solve them, all on their own. An important person in my life, is learning this rather hard lesson at the moment. I am watching and hoping that they are able to learn their lesson sooner rather than later.

"God grant me the strength to change the things that I can, the courage to accept the things that I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference." - Unknown Author

The day we stop learning, is the day we start dying. Today, I learned how to be just a little more patient of rude people.
I also learned I am a tad more attracted to blonde women than I figured, but that is really not of universal importance. hehe.

Laterz
Me